The Lit.cat is an online literary magazine that publishes half an hour of reading material every two weeks. This issue features endless breadsticks on awkward first dates, a stolen carnie's baby, and highfalutin think pieces. It also features a comedian friend of mine and a PG set list for dates. It will take 30 minutes and 11 seconds to read in its entirety, which is how late you were to your first day of work because you didn't realize that they never told you when to show up.