When Alex Trebek Says That Death Is Coming For Us All

A reasonable

first impulse is

to yell “what is

shut the fuck up,

Alex?” at the top

of your not-pink-

any-longer lungs.

‍

Then, much like

every other time

that smug bastard

opens his mouth,

you realize that

besides having a

damn fine research

team, he also has

the answers right

in front of him.

‍

And I don’t care

how many TV

dollars you have

in front of you,

no daily double is

going to bring you

back from that

deficit.