Issue 15 features band-aids and your first grade crush. It also features a sobering request and a crumbling Brooklyn apartment. It will take approximately 31.83 minutes to read, which is how long it takes the shower to warm up in my apartment. For real.

Friendly reminder that our Most Lit On The Web contest is still accepting entries through March 31st! Head over to our suggestion page and send us your favorite writing on the web. The entrants who nominate the best pieces get a yourname.is.a.lit.cat URL that redirects anywhere they want! Competition is heating up, so toss your hat into the ring and see if your nominee will rise to the top (holy idioms, Batman).

We hope life has gone swimmingly over the past two weeks. Specifically, we hope that he finally texted you back, your check didn't bounce, and that thing on your leg hasn't gotten any bigger. If not, take an early lunch, pull up this issue, and enjoy roughly 30 minutes of lit shit with your favorite meal. It's all gonna be okay, we promise.