Socrates never ate a donut.
Jesus couldn’t work a telephone.
Helen Keller didn’t play Tetris.
Moses never saw a penguin.
Winston Churchill didn’t even have an email address.
Charlemagne couldn’t dunk.
Karl Marx didn’t use credit cards.
Galileo Galilei had never even heard of New York City.
Thomas Jefferson couldn’t parallel park.
The Anachronistics was written by James Bezerra, who is a writer and MFA student in Portland Oregon. He is a recipient of The Northridge Review Fiction Award, The Oliver W. Evans Writing Prize, and was a 2016 artist-in-residence with the Angeles National Forest.
