Aren’t I Pretty

Sun Li says,

Sharmaine, you’d be

much more pretty

if you tried using

skin whitening

but what she means is,

Sharmaine, you would be

much more pretty if you

ripped every piece of brown

girl from your smile,

if you had a different mother,

if you weren’t born on island,

with palm trees, white sand,

beneath Chumurro sun

Sharmaine, you would be

a China doll.

a body, a piece of exotic

art men would love to hold

men would grovel for

she said, Men love Asian girls

especially ones with faces

pale like full moon

lips red like cheongsom silks

Sharmaine,

you would be the girl

men would go to war for

but what she means is,

i’m not the kind of girl men

would go to war for

Sun Li gives me a bundle of face masks

tells me to cover my blemishes,

hide behind orange peel, lactic acid

mulberry and words I cannot read

words I cannot fathom

Sun Li says Not all girls

can be naturally pretty

not all can have the curves of an S

knees that fold like origami swan

Sun Li says Sharmaine

you will never be beautiful

Sharmaine

You will never be enough

Sharmaine

You have to nip & tuck

Sharmaine

paint your nails

Sharmaine

trim your split ends

Sharmaine,

Sharmaine,

Sharmaine

there is a girl

in the mirror-

unrecognizable

Sun Li whispers

into her ear

until there’s no

Sharmaine

left

to call